WHAT I LEARN THROUGH MY RECOVERY Pt.1

I remember that day in a hospital bed, laying alone without my family, no friend. Ana was sitting near me and telling me that I'm not enough, I'm ugly, not sick enough... I was so lost without hope, dreams, body, I've lost everything. I can go on and on how bad it was but I will rather share all the positive and helpful things I've learned.

1. THERE IS ALWAYS HELP ✿
There will always be somebody who will help you. Even if you don't believe me now but they understand, you will find someone who will understand. There is 4 million recorded human history and someone gets through that, there are 4 billion peoples and some of them going through the same thing. So I learned to ask for help, admit my mistakes. It is okay to ask for help.

2. WEIGHT GAIN IS A GIFT ✿
It took me a while to figure that out, I didn't even realize how bad I was looking. My body was destroyed, I was bearly eating and gaining I was just so scared of the number. Until one day I told myself -Look Lea that number don't write on your head, you aren't that number, look what you did to your body just because of the number that doesn't matter- Gaining helped me realize how much is hard to heal my body, I was barely healing, but I keep pushing because I knew that I am, not that number and I need weight to be alive!
3. FOOD ❤
My biggest fear, my biggest enemy, all the bad, but why? I was starving myself now for the day but for months and years. I missed food all the great taste, smells, and textures. I add food as my goal every day I took one more bite until I realize that I was feeling better with food, I started cooking new recipes, decorating food, sharing it... Without food I was miserable, angry and tired I was enough of feeling so that way. Food becomes my friend that helped me heal my body, food helped me understand, focus and walk again.

4. BODY IS MY HOME ❤
I really feel in love with my body as much as I was gaining weight and it was hard but I keep pushing. I started hugging myself, talking to myself, dress up so I feel comfortable. I'm born as beautiful, healthy and enough baby, I'm still that baby I have my original shape and that makes me beautiful!
5. CONTROL MY EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS ☺
When they tell me -lose weight, you are not enough, you are ugly...-
I know what I need to do, switch my focus, I'm enough, and I don't need my head to be against me. As hard as it sounds sometimes we all deal with self-doubt. I just know that isn't right anymore.

6. EXERCISE ☺
I feel in love with yoga, you can read my last post about it. There are no words I can explain how finally I feel amazing and I don't feel gult.

Part two next week, lots of love and thank you for 1000 followers on Instagram. ❀