i am going ALL IN

If you arent familiar with the ALL IN recommend Stephanie Buttermore YouTube channel for more in deep information.

I am going fully all in my recovery. Not a joke this time and no more eating disorder rules. I was committed to my recovery but I've been stuck in my quasi recovery for over 6 months and honestly, I'm tired of it. 

QUASI RECOVERY-where you aren't relapsing into your illness but you aren't experiencing the benefits of recovery either.

Basically, I'm eating enough but overexercising every day, sweating my butt off in my room pretending that I like it but deep in my soul I don't like it!

And I can't stop eating I literally eat until I can't walk and then stuff my sisters with food too because I feel way too guilty to eat alone. 

Quasi recovery is turning me into a monster. I really don't have a purpose in a day. My most important daily task is too fucking exercise and burn fat, to reach that flat stomach, and eat healthily...

I really don't want to be another skinny fucking girl on Instagram you compare yourself to, that is so miserable and cant enjoy in cereal. 

I'm really not about spending my days locked in my room exercising when I can start learning more languages and paint.

I'm really tired of pretending that I'm doing better in my recovery when the truth is I'm stuck.

I don't have my period for 3 years.

Honestly, I'm glad I want to change and it is going to be hard. But that's why I decided to document my journey physically and mentally.

I will try my best to write every day my mental thoughts and updates about my journey and about habits that I'm breaking.

I wanna be that Instagram girl that is RECOVERED FROM EATING DISORDER. And I want to live a free life!

my current physic